Day sixty-six: I Was Here (May, 14)

Another Estonian movie this week: I Was Here (Mina Olin Siin), despite being another amazing production from Estonia, was a very hard choice for a morning movie.

It was nauseating sometimes, so much that I really question myself about seeing it today on early morning - the only time available to me to see a film today. This proves how where and when are fundamental choices regarding a movie.

The thing is, Mina Olin Siin is very effective in what he says, and so it is difficult no to feel bad. So many hard subjects, such violence... There's no way to not feel sick, actually. Maybe it contains a bit of a professorial tone noticeable by the drug subject, but the movie goes beyond that for me, and revolves around our choices in life settled mostly by our attempts to run away from what hurts, and also by trying to take care of the whole world at the same time. 

The music at the end, by EEls, tells a lot about the main character and the story: I won't ever be the same. That is Rass' journey. As the English title says, Rass was here, but maybe he is not anymore. By his own words, "You fight so you don't have to watch our soul bleed". But it bleeds anyway, and Rass realizes that in the hardest way: by loosing himself while trying to survive. 

I Was Here (Mina Olin Siin). Directed by René Vilbre. With: Ramus
Kaljujäv, Doris Tislar, Hele Köre. Writer: Ilmar Raag from the book
Mina Olin Siin: Esimene Ares, by Sass Heno, Estonia/Finland/Taiwan,
2008, 95 min., Color (DVD).